re: is everyone copy?
Today is yet another riveting day at work. I'm listening to Ram by Paul McCartney, Virna Lindt's Shiver, and a whole slew of Todd Edwards' discography.
In catching up with my Bear Blogging peers1, I read this post by Zeina dissecting the famous quote by Nora Ephron, everything is copy. Now, I'm well aware of Ephron's presence as an avid rom-com fan, however I'd never read this quote of hers up until now. I proceeded to go down a teeny rabbit hole of people's interpretations. Unfortunately I can't watch the same-titled documentary of her son Jacob Bernstein's while on the job, but it's definitely on the watchlist.
In this post by Jim Carroll, I found a quote from Ephron curated by him that really helped me understand just what she meant by this line.
Writers are cannibals… They are predators. And if you are friends with them and say something funny at dinner, or if anything good happens to you, you are in big trouble.
In creating at large, everything is on the table. I have two great fears in the work that I make:
That I am cannibalizing myself, turning every life experience into some kind of material to be shared. There's two edges to the sword. On one, the desire to create is often so powerful that it leads me to consistently do things far outside of my comfort zone, thus giving me wild and wonderful experiences to reflect on. On the other, that desire often leads to a great sense of guilt should I fail to document any lived experience to my standards, which are quite lofty2.
That I am preying on others in my life for material. When writing about my own experiences and feelings, it's near impossible to keep the lens entirely on myself. Life is nothing without the people around you, and none of us are islands. I find that, although I am a full personality on my own, I am particularly plastic when it comes to influences from those around me. Many of my blog posts are derived from conversations and intimate moments with others, and many of my zines are even more expository given the (illusion of) privacy of the paper medium.
It is important to note that in the end, not everything was copy for Nora Ephron. She kept her terminal leukemia almost completely private from her friends and family, let alone from the public. There's a certain balance I'm still figuring out how to strike when it comes to what is copy and what is not. While I tend to write about my family and friends a lot, I seldom write about the negative stories, at least not for public perception. This is not to paint a brighter or happier picture of my life that may not be true, but to protect both my and my loved one's dignities. What is actually negative is up for debate.
I tend to find myself returning to themes of grief3 whenever I'm struggling to write about any other feeling, which is, in theory, a negative theme. This habit of mine sometimes inadvertently exposes those around me who are working through the same pains that I am, or those who are helping me through them. I am of the belief that grief is, most of the time, the only way to grow, and dispelling those feelings in their slightly lobotomized written form4 here on this blog and in my zines has been the greatest outlet I've discovered in my young-adult life.
All this to say, I am generally of the same belief that everything is copy. The question I still have is what aspects of each concept are up for writing grabs. All to be figured out in due time.
I've been finding it increasingly hard to keep up with all of the blogs and friends that I'd like to keep up with. I think it's a part of having a busy busy life, but it does make me quite sad. I think I'm due for another cold turkey cut from Instagram, but the desire to post my little sketch stories compels me.↩
While I am mostly on the ball when it comes to journaling and archiving my day to day life, there comes periods of time where everything is so chaotic and exciting that I can't sit still long enough to cement the whirlwind in writing. These are the most valuable periods of time, yet the hardest to capture.↩
For not only those I've lost, but also for periods of time, for versions of myself, for everything. I'm a very morose person when I let myself be.↩
In those same discussions today, I was made to consider just how much of my family's pain around my grandmother's passing I'm willing to share, as I'm currently developing a written piece around it. I've come to the shaky conclusion that I'm going to try to focus on the grander themes around it without getting into too many details, while hoping that I don't write something inauthentic and shy.↩