vague framework of my friendship model
I had an old friend of mine wish me a belated happy birthday on instagram just now, and every time he talks to me I just remember how easy he is to talk to. When talking to these kinds of people from my life, I have to be mindful not to let my excitement show too much lest I be uncool, or too happy to say hi again.
Normally I think, who cares, just be yourself etc. But then I think that I get nervous when people are too excited to see me, even if it does feel nice. Performance anxiety?
The best thing to do to rid yourself of feeling alone or left out I think is to make your own personal life as fulfilling as possible. To some extent, to me that means having close friends, but I find those come naturally when I fill my time with things that I enjoy, and more importantly want to share the joy of.
For example, I used to go to philosophy nights with a friend of mine, because we saw the poster together and realized we both are interested in things of that nature. Even though we’re both moving for uni so I won’t see her much anymore, we bonded over our mutual wants and interests, not just wanting to spend time with each other. That, I think, was one of my most fulfilling friendships and a model I really believe in. Be the person you want to be and interact with things you want to see, and the good will come to you naturally in time :)