we're just as wonderful as we always were
I read a post by Yuri Cunha reflecting on the way we love today, and how disconnected our society has become as a result of social media and the internet, and I had some conflicting thoughts with it mixed in with some agreeance.
I, like many others on this platform, have a growing disdain for social media, and the effect it's had on the world around us. I've grown up alongside the birth of modern social media, I got my first proper instagram in grade 6. I've also had many forays in different social media platforms, some for writing (I had a horrible Quotev fan fiction writing phase), and others for scrolling and rotting away. I started really feeling the burnout of constant media presence around the later half of the covid pandemic, think around mid-2021.
The constant need to update and see other people's lives was such a heavy presence on my life for the longest time, and I've had many attempts of deleting my instagram and eventually crawling back. It wasn't until my last attempt, that only lasted about 2 days before I needed to download it for school purposes, did my dad lay some seemingly too simple but too true words on me.
"Why do you need to remove yourself entirely? Why can you not just control yourself?"
At the first listen, it sounded like he was giving me the classic 'homeless, just buy a house' type of stupid line. Mulling over it though, I looked at myself and realized, why can't I just urge myself to be more present?
Where I don't agree with Yuri's words lies in the assumption that the majority of people lay all value in your online presence, be it responding fast, or having the best posts to flaunt them in, etc. In my life, I find that that's simply not the case in any regard.
When I began to check myself in how I used the tools my phone provided me more, I found not only more satisfaction in my life, but I got more satisfaction in relationships with those around me simply because I allowed myself to be more present. And while Yuri writes about yearning for older times where these connections were better or maybe simpler to achieve, I believe the landscape has only been translated into another language, not edited or cut down.
People are timeless at their core, myself included. If someone cares to put the effort to write you a letter, to meet with you just to take a walk, to carve out their time and presence for you, yes, that truly is an irreplaceable feeling. But the catch is: you have to give to receive.
The way I have grown to use social media has been as a communication tool, and it's allowed me to speak with people that I feel I wouldn't have met any other way had it not existed. Yet still, I don't like using it. So when I've met someone that I think is truly worth my time, and that's many, I initiate, I ask to share my time with them. Because if I don't ask, who will?
Eventually, people give back. So many friendships have quickly turned from DMs into late nights in tea houses, hours talking on the couch over a spliff and some mac. Those people that I refer to, they've put effort in too. Those who don't put in the same amount of effort as I do, maybe they're just not meant for me and that's ok.
That's not to say that I haven't had my fair share of FOMO nights feeling alone scrolling away, that's just a symptom of modern day. However, I choose not to allow myself to chalk it up to the circumstances I've been given, I choose to open myself up to people, even if my vulnerability hurts me sometimes.
Love, whether it be friendship, relationships, whatever it may be is everywhere, even if it doesn't feel like it a lot of the time. I hope that, not only Yuri, but anyone who feels both my sentiments and theirs chooses to try, even if the landscape feels rough. We're everywhere and we can love just as much as you can.
Thank you Yuri for giving me some brain food today. I hope maybe I'll give you a little food for thought back.